Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
