don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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