everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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