The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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