Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
