whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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