I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
