You're completely useless in the revolution.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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