I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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