Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
