She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
