are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
