So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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