Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize