She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
