Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
