The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
