He disabled his match.com account in front of me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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