Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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