i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
