Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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