the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
