You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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