It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
