are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
