it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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