I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
