I like my sex mixed with concussions.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
not ubering you a puppy
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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