all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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