Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Then you guys just all showered together...?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
