well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
