in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
FUCK WHALES
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
