either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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