I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize