Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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