just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
two words...techno handjob
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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