Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
