hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
