i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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