You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
