Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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