you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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