You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
