OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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