Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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