i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
