Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
