Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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