Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
