I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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