Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
