It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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