They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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