On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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