You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
