Where is the hickey?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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